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The Inquisitor part II (humor)

Joined
Sep 5, 2006
Messages
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Location
Belton, TX
First Name
JD
Last Name
Evans
When I bought my C14, my wife the Inquisitor, asked how much more it was going to cost. Every bike that has ever taken up residence in the garage has been showered with love in the form of various farkles. She has figured out it is never just the initial price of the bike.

When challenged about the C14 I was cool as a cucumber, and deftly told her it would not cost anything more as I had purchased the fastest one they made. While it stumped the Inquisitor for the time being, it also limited how I was going to rationalize future purchases.

Here is how I got away with another bike in the garage...

While deployed to Afghanistan I purchased a rather large wood carving of a camel. Did I need a wooden camel, well not as much as the locals needed my greenbacks, so as a quirky souvenir I bought the carving. Upon returning to the United States, I was chomping at the bit to get another bike in the garage; but how? Then my boxes began arriving and I remembered the camel. I took out the camel and promptly put it on the fireplace mantel. This carving does not even remotely complement any of the decor the Inquisitor has picked for the house. Though the carving is quite good, it looks garishly out of place amongst the Inquisitor's coordinated palate of colors and design style.

The Inquisitor eyes the camel, and surprisingly says nothing. So I leave the camel where it is and say nothing. After a few days, the Inquisitor has had enough and brings up the issue of the camel. She wants it moved from the mantel. Now is my moment of truth, I put may plan in motion. I compliment the Inquisitor and then proceed to tell the Inquisitor that she has done a wonderful job of decorating our home, but I also point out that there is nothing in the room, other than the TV, where I had any input. (Hmmm, probably why it looks so nice) I then state that the Camel is a reminder of my accumulated tours of duty, and how much I want "contribute" something to the room other than sweat equity in theater that paid for all the stuff. Ha, for the second time in two years I have stumped the Inquisitor. The Inquisitor now seems to lack the urgency to have me relocate the camel. I save this poker chip for later.

Almost a month later and days before the Inquisitors birthday, I mention that I'd like to have another motorcycle. The Inquisitor's defense system goes on full alert. She is ready for an iffy justification, and throws down the gauntlet. "And just why do you need another motorcycle? I thought this one was one of the fastest ones they make." I respond. "It is, and true to my word I have not spent any money on go-fast parts, windscreens, or saddles. I'm thinking of something a little easier to maneuver in a parking lot for when my hip (replaced twice) is giving me problems but I still want to ride". The Inquisitor is a strong negotiator, and wants to know if it would be "OK" for her to buy something she "wants" but does not really "need"? Diabolical... She is waiting for me to either unwittingly agree to a cruise or something shiny, or to start tap dancing about why I should get another bike when there is already more than one in the garage.

Now I use my poker chip. I tell the Inquisitor... "Baby, if you'd rather that I sell one of my other bikes, or just not buy one all together, I can do that. I'd be disappointed, but I'll live all the same. On the other hand, if I can get another bike that does not duplicate what I already have, I'll take the camel out to the garage with me to keep myself and the other bikes company. The Inquisitor quickly agrees and a deal is struck. Seeing how there was not a Yamaha or an Enduro in the garage, this left a lot of possibilities. So I bought a KLR and a FZ1 :trust:

Well, the camel and I are spending a lot more time together than I anticipated. Guess I'm going to have to take that cruise after all if I ever expect to see anything other than the Lifetime channel on the large screen TV.
 
Mine is called "She who must be obeyed" but sounds like the same mold was used. :rofl:
 
I use the forgiveness vs. permission approach. Then I call her at work and tell her so she has time to un-mad before she gets home. Apparently, she doesn't appreciate the surprise of finding a new bike in garage as the door ascends nearly as appealing as I do. :lol2:
 
Great tactical maneuvering Ghost Writer ... one step ahead all the time!

You need to take good care of that camel now.
 
One of the dangers in dealing with IED's (Inquisitor Explosive Dames) is that they can detonate at any moment for any number of reasons... I'm sure you learned similar lessons in Iraq.
 
I use the forgiveness vs. permission approach. Then I call her at work and tell her so she has time to un-mad before she gets home. Apparently, she doesn't appreciate the surprise of finding a new bike in garage as the door ascends nearly as appealing as I do. :lol2:

Sounds like a man who has had a lot of practice.... :lol2:
 
This is a great learning lesson for thoughs of us still learning the rules of the "Inquisitor" or "The One Who Must Be Obeyed"
 
You guys are terrible, hilarious, but terrible! :rofl:


My hat is off to GR and Kurt! :clap:
 
No wife here. No one to share the highs and lows of life; the joys and tribulations. I can only imagine, and if your wives lurk on TWT I am sure you will agree, there are more advantages to marriage than dis-advantages.
Kurt, GR, thank you for reminding me of one of the few advantages to the single life. :lol2:
 
You guys clearly did not marry red heads:rofl:, the forgiveness vs permission is a gamble with one's life :lol2:
 
Au contraire, mon ami.

Mine is also more stuborn than most, and given the option of new bike and getting rid of the camel, she would have redecorated the living room in camels :lol2:

EDIT: I guess that's why you have to give her "cool down" time
 
Dude, send that to one of the moto mags :lol2: Just make sure the wife never sees it!

I am one of the lucky ones. Beth doesn't put me through all that. Of course, it is not like I have the money to be stashing new bikes in the garage anyway :doh: The big problem I used to have with her was, "Well... if your bike needs better suspension, doesn't mine...?" I tried the, "But you don't ride as much as I do so it is not as cost effective, and this would make our two up rides better too..." That worked once, but oddly enough, the bike became hers soon after because I got a new one. Eventually her bike had the full titanium exhaust system with custom tuned Power Commander II, upgraded suspension, heated grips, nice Sargent seat, GIVI luggage, etc,... hehe. I just started riding "hers" more than mine :trust: Now I just buy them too tall for her to ride :mrgreen: She's on to me though... :wary:
 
Ghost Rider, maybe it's time to sell the camel. But not to just anyone. Sell it to some poor guy on the site who is trying to get another bike. He can take it home and put it on his mantle. After a couple of months, he can make a deal to get rid of the camel in exchange for another bike. He sells it to, you guessed it, another poor fella who is trying to get a second bike to keep the first one company. You could make a lot of guys happy.....
 
Great story, and an excellent understanding of negotiating power. My faith in the military has been confirmed.

A friend had a similar story. He was working on a project with a recent college grad who was from Africa. At the end of the project, the grad gave my friend a carving of a man throwing a spear. Not exactly politically correct, but it came from his hometown in Africa, he had his mother ship it over for him. My friend brought it home and put it on the mantle, which subsequently drove his wife crazy, and he was able to use that for a couple of shop tools that had been on his list for a while.
 
If someone knows which moto mag will take such a story, I'll send part I & II. The camel might make a good traveling trophy. Any interest in getting that started? I can hand off the camel before I deploy again next month, OR... I can look for something completely hideous we can pass around when we need to "barter" with the wives.
 
Just how big is this camel? Your first post just describes it as "rather large". I think we need a picture here.
 
If someone knows which moto mag will take such a story, I'll send part I & II. The camel might make a good traveling trophy. Any interest in getting that started? I can hand off the camel before I deploy again next month, OR... I can look for something completely hideous we can pass around when we need to "barter" with the wives.

dogs-playing-poker.jpg


for above the mantle :mrgreen:
 
I am barely treading water at work, but I will take a few pics of the camel this weekend. Just can't get to it before then.

While the camel is not for sale, it is free to a good and possibly temporary home. "large" camel is a relative term... like it reminds me of my in-laws. It does not seem like much of an imposition until they have been here a while. You come home and find them on the sofa, and you just know and feel that something is out of place.

Will post pictures to properly express the "scale".
 
My "Inquisitor" has learned that I always have a justification for a new or different bike. One time she was not in a particularly good mood when I broached the subject of another bike. She grumbled something like "if you get another motorcycle, it will be the only thing you ride for a while".

So I waited until she was in a better mood.............:sun:
 
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