for Mom

[Chatterbox]

Mom is dying. It's too long a story to go into, her body is shutting down and slowly dying. She's on a pain patch that is supposed to be stronger than a morphine drip. It's not doing enough. A stronger dose will slow her already lowest-it-can-go breathing to nothing - she'd die.

This sounds like I'm being an awful daughter, but please pray for her to go peacefully and not linger. She's at home, with my 70 something year old Dad trying to take care of her - with some nursing and hospice care. He just can not physically do it.

Dad isn't ready to tell mom it's ok for her to go. Mom is lingering, waiting for something - I don't know what.

I truly believe with all my heart that when Dad tells her that we love her and will miss her, but we'll be ok without her, she will let herself go.

All I want is what's best for mom and Dad both. I can't lose both of them at the same time.

Thanks.

[wonder91178]

I truly believe with all my heart that when Dad tells her that we love her and will miss her, but we'll be ok without her, she will let herself go.

I believe that as well...my grandma was the same way, my mom told her it was ok to go and she went peacefully. I also believe she held out over Christimas because she didn't want us to be sad everytime Christmas came around, she passed away 1/3/05.

Thoughts and prayers are headed your way from Burleson.

[Faylaricia]

Cindy, prayers and a big hug from me as well. I am so sorry to hear about your mom taking such a drastic turn now.

[WoodButcher]

Words can't convey what I felt in reading this, and I almost always pray for the people who ask here, but seldom post that I did. In this case I really want to respond. I prayed for strength for you and your dad. I prayed that your mom would realize it was time and give your dad a squeeze on the hand. I prayed that God would take her home soon and painlessly. Then I cried.

[SKEETER]

i am very sorry about that, i have lost a sister to drunk driving, grandmother heart attach, dad suicide, and friend suicide.
i feel for ya stay strong for them.

[klrno2]

:pray:

may she find peace soon...and hug your dad for me.

[Texas T]

My step-granddad was in that position for weeks. My mom and stepdad were visiting him one day and told him to just let it go; that it was okay and that Marion (my deceased grandmother) would be waiting for him. He passed later that day.

Sometimes I think they just need to be reassured that their passing won't bring more hurt to those behind.

[1TallTXn]

Ouch, thats not fun. Prayers are headed up from Johnson County :pray:

[Squeaky]

We're all with you and your family Cindy. Lean on us when/if you ever need.

[bronco78]

My thoughts are with you, your mom, and your dad. I just went through this very situation with my mom a year ago June. Healthy to gone in 11 months, the last three days was difficult, as I gave her increasing amounts of morphine to control the pain. At 0230 she passed, and I carried her body out of her house one last time. I believe her mind was released hours before her body gave in. Prayer is not my best ability.. Well wishes for a peaceful and expedient end are with her.

[sharkey]

I went thru the same thing w/ my dad. It's a tough situation.
No words can be said that makes it any easier. Just know that there are several people praying for you and your family.

[Jack Giesecke]

My sympathies. I lost my mom a couple of years ago. It was a very hard thing, but she's with me every day now. Being an only child doesn't make it any better, though. It was really rough on me, still is, really. We were very close.

[Tourmeister]

:tab Thank you for letting us know Cindy. The death of loved ones is something that none of us is exempt from, yet that does not make it any easier. We will be praying for all of you.

:tab My Dad's Mom was lost to Alzheimers. No pain that would could tell, just bewilderment and confusion. It was very hard to see her. All my life I remember her always having a hymn on her lips and joy just bursting from her heart. When she reached the point where she no longer recognized anyone at all, she still knew the hymns to the end. I'd like to think that she had company inside that disease right to the end.

:tab I know the day will come when I lose my parents. It will be tough because I am very close to them. I just hope it goes quickly and painlessly for them and for me.

[D'artagnan]

I'm pretty chatty at bike nights, but moments like this leave me struggling for words. Your Mom and your Dad are in my prayers.

Jeff

[Chatterbox]

Thanks, everyone.

Her pain is worsening, and Dad just can not take care of her anymore. If things work out, she will be going back into a nursing home today. When she still had her senses a couple of weeks ago, she said she'd die before/if she went into another nursing home. I don't expect her to be around much longer.

I really do appreciate all your well wishes, prayers and concern. This is extremely hard because my sisters and I have just recently (in the past 6 months) "forgiven" our mom for many, many years of abuse. It's very hard to be able to really, truly start loving someone and forgiving them only to have it be reciprocal for such a short time.

Thanks again, everyone.

[kurt]

All you can do at this point is make her comfortable and pain free. Insist on good pain management, as it is a completely seperate issue from "DNR" or "Living Will" status. If she is still in pain, then more need to be and can be done.

[scratch]

Take care, Cindy. I'll be thinking about you.

[htown71]

Sounds like what we went through with my wife's mother a little over a year ago. While it is hard on everyone just take peace in knowing she is going to a better place where she no longer be in pain. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

[Snoopster]

Cindy,

My prayers are with you & your family.

[TexasTri]

We went through this with my Mom. Very hard to let her go, but she had suffered a long time. It was the best thing for her and us. We'll include your family in our prayers. And this would not make you a bad daughter.

[john2kvtr]

Cindy, I will pray for you and your family while working through these difficult times.

May God be with you and your family.

[Tourmeister]

Any news?

[Chatterbox]

No. She's back in the nursing home - giving her the max pain patch they can without stopping her breathing - trying a whirlpool to see if they can get any circulation going back in her legs and right arm. It's just a wait and see kind of thing.

Thanks for asking, and thanks for the prayers and good thoughts. They really are a huge help and comfort.

[Chatterbox]

Sorry to ask you guys for more - you've already been a great support and comfort.

My Dad found out this afternoon that he has to have another stint put in his heart tomorrow. This is completely unexpected. He had a regularly scheduled stress test yesterday - supposed to go next week to go over the results with the doctor. The doctor called him this afternoon and told him he is scheduled for surgery tomorrow.

Needless to say, Chris is taking me up to Oklahoma as soon as we get packed.

Please, please, please pray for Dad. With all the stress he has been under the last several weeks with mom, he believes he's going to die during surgery. He feels that way enough that he drove 20 miles (a very long distance for him) to tell my mom goodbye.

Thanks in advance for your prayers. I don't know what I'll do if I lose my Dad right now. I'm not prepared for that at all.

Cindy

[Gilk51]

God speed Cindy and Chris...

[scratch]

Sorry to hear about your dad, Cindy. :-(
I hope you find the strength to get through this.

[Hotboot]

Be strong girl, you are a good daughter because you worry and care for your parents. Prayers sent.

[sunnyblu]

Let us know how we may best pray for you and it will be done.
Until then...May God bless you with wisdom, guidance, discernment, peace ...your mother with peaceful, pain free transition to God's arms and your father will be able to release her knowing all will be well soon.
To everything there is a season and this too shall pass.

[Chatterbox]

Your prayers and good thoughts worked! :sun:

Once the cardiologist got into the procedure, they discovered it wasn't as bad as they thought. That was wonderful news.

On another great note, mom seems to be improving. After we got Dad home from the hospital, we went over to visit mom in the nursing home. She has good color, was very aware and coherent, and actually stayed awake and visited for a little over an hour.

I'm very glad I went - I was able to see that my dad is going to be ok, and I was able to tell mom to her face that I'm not mad at her anymore and that I love her. I saw it in her eyes and heard it in her voice that everything is fine now.

Thanks everyone. I truly appreciate all of your support.

[Texas T]

Great news Cindy!

[Tourmeister]

Thanks for the update. We are glad it was a good visit!