Lost a neighbor today...

[Tourmeister]

Howdy,

Our office is on my folks property next to their home. So I know most of the neighbors just from random visits over the years. We had a guy I did not recognize show up at the office around lunch, looking kind of agitated. He said he was a friend of the guy across the street, Mr. Kievlan. He was worried because he was supposed to meet him this morning but now can't reach him by phone and he does not answer the door at the house. I went back across the street with him and after seeing all the vehicles were present and not getting a response, we found a partially opened bathroom window. I pulled the screen and climbed through. I found Mr. Kievlan on the floor in his bedroom. He'd been dead a while. He last spoke to the guy with me (Paul) around 8:30pm last night. Paul said he sounded bad, gasping, and asked Paul to come by in the morning. He refused an offer to have Paul come get him last night. Looked like he was getting ready for bed and just collapsed next to the bed. He'd managed to pull the sheets and a pillow off the bed and get them under his head... and then he died... looking as if he made himself comfortable before going. He was 61.

I got to be the one to inform one of his daughters. He has eight grown kids. His wife had left him maybe 5 years ago so he was living alone. Needless to say, the daughter took it hard. I stayed around while all the EMTs, Sheriff Deputies, Judge and funeral home people did their thing. Weird afternoon.

He was a nice guy. I think 3-4 of his kids were able to make recent visits to see him. Please pray for his family as they adjust to life without him. Please let your family know how much you love them. you never know if it might be the last chance you get.

[BexarWolf]

It's never pleasant to find a deceased person whether by natural causes or otherwise. Notifying the family ain't easy either. If you feel bothered by it, talk to someone.

I'll keep his family (and you) in my thoughts.

[M38A1]

I'm sorry to hear about your neighbor. I can't begin to imagine what that would be like to pull the sheets/pillow down to be comfortable knowing what is most probably in store.

[Tracker]

may he RIP. and that's pretty young, these days. sad.

[kurt]

Welcome to my world. As I stated in a previous thread, notifications are the very worst part of the whole ordeal. There is nothing easy about it and you just know that the family will forever remember you and that moment.

[Gravel Guy]

Scott, you ok?
Prayers for the family...

[sKatZ]

I'm so sorry, Scott. For his family, his friend, and for you. That is an experience few people have and I can imagine it is as real and surreal as a day could be.

[Sweet-E]

How sad, prayers for you and for his family.

[Tourmeister]

Yeah. I'm fine.

I've kind of been dreading this day. He was not in the best of health and lived alone. I figured this would happen eventually. Today was just the day. Dad came over to his house while I was there and Paul stayed, so I was not dealing with it alone. The LEOs, Judge and EMTs were all pretty cool as well. He worked up in the DFW area and was often gone for a few weeks at a time. So it was normal not to see activity at his place for extended periods. Fortunately, he contacted Paul last night so Paul knew something might be wrong. Otherwise he could have been in there for several weeks before someone found him.

It is kind of depressing to see how life just ends and all the stuff he had going on just became a moot point. But we see that happening all around us every day all across the world. Yeah, this makes it a little more immediate and personal, but it is still the reality we all face.

[cdc]

Sad story...
Often you hear about people refusing help when they know something is wrong.

[wanabeguru]

Originally Posted by sKatZ

I'm so sorry, Scott. For his family, his friend, and for you. That is an experience few people have and I can imagine it is as real and surreal as a day could be.

+1

[mbrew]

Originally Posted by kurt

Welcome to my world. As I stated in a previous thread, notifications are the very worst part of the whole ordeal. There is nothing easy about it and you just know that the family will forever remember you and that moment.

The military makes it a practice that the NCO or Officer that does a notification isn't seen again by the family, the thought being that he might be considered the bad guy. The next military person they see is usually the casualty assistance officer(CAO) who helps them deal with the paperwork and protocols.

FWIW I received one of those notifications many years ago and while I remember what was said and how it was said, I wouldn't recognize the Deputy that I talked to if I was to see him again. I certainly don't consider him to be the bad guy, in fact my wife and I have a great deal of respect and admiration for those that were involved that night. Many of them had had their own difficulties in dealing with what happened.

Originally Posted by Tourmaster

It is kind of depressing to see how life just ends and all the stuff he had going on just became a moot point. But we see that happening all around us every day all across the world. Yeah, this makes it a little more immediate and personal, but it is still the reality we all face.

I've had very similar thoughts on many occasions and have used them for safety briefings many times. Fate doesn't care about your plans if you do something that gets you hurt, or in this case become ill. Sorry you had to go through that.

Best wishes to the family.

[greeneggs&ham]

Very sorry Scott. Prayers to his family. There is no good way to do what you had to do, and no way for a caring person to forget it. Our prayers to you also. Sam

[Tourmeister]

He is being buried Saturday afternoon in Houston. I will be attending the graveside service. His whole family, seven kids and wife, plus some extended family will be there. It will be the first time for me to visit with most of the family. His oldest son came by the office today and had a nice visit with me and Dad. I wasn't real sure about going, but he and another of the brothers made it clear that they would like to have me attend. The memorial service will actually be Sunday afternoon, but I won't be able to make that.

Please pray that both days go as well as possible well for the family.

[The Bruce]

It's hard on you, finding someone like that. Talk about it, a lot. Get any emotions you have out there in the open so nothing is hiding to bother you later. If something crops up later, the local law agency probably has a victim services group for you to talk to. Talking about it is the best way to get over it. Take care Scott.

[Tourmeister]

The grave side service was fantastic. None of it was really planned. A long time friend/pastor opened with a short prayer, told some stories of his times spent with Don in their younger days as room mates. Another friend from that same time spoke. Then the two oldest sons spoke. I only hope to be so fortunate to have my kids speak so highly of me when the time comes. It came from the heart and it was very powerful and touching. A few other people spoke and then we watched as they buried him. There was no ceremony. I did get to see the rest of the family, which I think was important to them simply because I was the one that found him and contacted them. We were going to attend a get together at a nearby family member's home, but the heat of the day had taken a toll on Paul (the friend that came to get me to find him) and we decided to just head on home. I rode down with Paul and the time driving there and back was really great. Don was Paul's best friend and he really needed to talk, especially because they had only known each other a little over a year and Paul had never really had a close friend like Don before. Paul and I have a lot in common despite the difference in age, him being about 20 years older than me. Strange as it seems, I think I've made a new friend. I can't replace Don in Paul's life, but he and I are kindred spirits and I suspect that we'll be spending time together in the future. He rides, shoots, loves to chat about politics/religion and the meaning of life, and having quality relationships is a priority in his life

[OldTLSDoug]

A friendship, nice tribute to Don, I'd say.

[Tourmeister]

Matt, the oldest son, came over to our office today to invite us over for a cook out. He leaves for Hawaii at 4:00am and wanted to have a last visit before leaving. Don's wife, and three of the other kids were there as well. Mom, Dad, myself and my nephew (lives with my folks) headed over after work. In the back yard was a little table with a XD-40, XD-45, Walther 22, Kel-Tec 380, and a few others... They'd been popping off a few rounds waiting for us to show up. The little .22 was sweet. I didn't shoot any of the others as we were putting them away so we could do dinner. It turned out that the grill was out of propane, so Dad invited everyone back across the street to his place to use his grill. We ended up having a great evening visiting, sharing stories, and just enjoying everyone's company. The food was great. The family is doing well.

[The Bruce]

That's great Scott.