Howdy Gary,
Brian is correct, your combined weight is important. However, a lot of that can be overcome with better suspension, particularly the rear shock. My combined weight is probably around 330 lbs when riding with my wife. Even with a GIVI topcase on the back of the bike, with stock suspension, we have had some seriously fun and "spirited" rides
Will you be able to notice the extra weight of the passenger? Heck yeah! Does it really matter? Not if you ride accordingly. Realize the bike won't slow as fast under engine braking or regular braking. It will take a little more throttle to lift the bike out of a lean. Wheelies are easier
Although that might garner you a smack in the back of the head
For weekend touring, the bike is fine. I don't know if I would want to go two up for really long trips. I have much more fun when my wife is on her own bike. But we both really enjoy riding two up on occasion. The bike has plenty of power as long as you are in the right gear. You have to remember that the motor in this bike is designed to make its power in higher RPMs. So you won't be able to lug around in fourth gear at 2000 RPM and expect to be able to whack the throttle and take off instantly. But if you are up around 6000 RPM...
Keep in mind all of my comments are based on my experience with the 98-01 model VFR. I've never ridden any of the other generations of the VFR two up. As far as room is concerned, we never feel cramped. I am 5'10" and she is 5'5". With the GIVI bag as a backrest, she kicks back like a Harley Queen hehe.
If you are planning on some serious long distance touring, get your wife to learn to ride and get her a bike. You'll both have more fun. This is true even if you are talking about Goldwings. Although, there are those people that have no interest in riding their own bike and are perfectly content to sit on the back for hours on end, hard to believe
Adios,