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Airplane story and y’all entertain me :)

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Triumphter

Triumphter

Joined
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I am flying to LA today for my next movie, an appearance in support of my last and a music video for the next.

Connecting in Atlanta. We board, push back and wait for about 30 minutes for our turn. Pretty normal.

Then a passenger starts having a tantrum of some kind. I am in the front and this is in the back. So I do not really know what is happening other than, “there is a disturbance.”

Captain comes on and tells us we are going back to the gate to deal with “a problem.”


That takes 30 minutes. Sure enough, we get to the gate and the captain emerges to personally open the door and let the cops on.

An intoxicated 20isb girl gets escorted off the plane and she was not happy about it. Captain actually gives a briefing with the highlights. (Drunk passenger getting belligerent and violent with people around her and she had to go)

So if we end up on the news or youtube....


A 5 hour flight is going to take about 9 hours. We are somewhere over Tupelo now. Y’all keep me company. The wifi is pretty good on this flight.

Tell me your airplane stories or whatever.
 
Late, but here's my story. At Ohare for the first time standing in line waiting and didnt really know where to go next. Drunk guy in front of me, really drunk and just weaving back to front and i couldn't understand why he didnt topple. Never seen anyone that bad off. Gave him like 6-8ft space. Did he expect to get on a plane? Got to the counter and sure enough couldnent make any sense to the agent and soon, in came the security. I always remember that fellow and wonder what would cause a person to get so destroyed. You never know what goes on behind people's eyes.
 
I don't have any good civil disturbance stories, but there have been some doozies of delays. Once I was trying to get out of DFW on my way to Dulles. Five minutes before pushback, it was announced that a passenger who made a last-minute dash to the forward toilet, had accidentally dropped her cell phone into it, and then asked a flight attendant for help. In a perfect world, the flight attendant would have said "Your loss, lady." But in this era, a Super 80 with 110 souls aboard can't take off with some unknown electronic device hiding in a porta-potty. So we sat and sweated for an hour while they did whatever airlines do to toilets. Pump them? Remove a cassette? Whatever it was, it shot holes in my schedule, and it didn't win the lady any friends.

On the way home on the same trip, we got weather-delayed near DFW, and ended up landing at Shepherd AFB in Wichita Falls because we got low on fuel. After sitting for an hour & a half waiting our turn, we got some gas from the Air Force, and the captain announced we'd be on our way shortly. Well, that was before a lady complained that she saw a "crack in the wing." So the captain & 1st officer then had to take time to inspect it. The captain once again announced that, having decided the lady saw a ripple in some paint, we'd be on our way shortly. Then, the captain was back on the intercom again. Having explained the situation to American Airlines back in Dallas, he was informed that, due to FAA regulations, we weren't going anywhere until the wing was looked at by an airframe mechanic. Ever try to find an airframe mechanic in Wichita Falls at 7pm on a Friday? Even on an Air Force base, the place is largely shut down for the weekend and the boys have gone off to play. An hour and a half later, an airframe mechanic arrived from DFW, and we finally got out of there. Long day!
 
On the way back from Cancun one vacation we killed time at Margaritaville since our gate was just right there. Apparently they pour margaritas strong. When they called for us to board I was instructed not to talk and do what I was told. We got on just fine and I had a great nap on the flight back to DFW 😇
 
A fun jet PV weekend many years ago the plane was a couple hours late getting to Houston but it was ok we waited in the bar , a lady I’d known for a couple years had hooked up with the head guy from fun jet houston office and he was buying and since we were with them we had more drinks on the plane and a case of cold modello in the van that took us to the hotel on the beach , lots of booze was consumed that weekend and I really liked not being just another passenger only thing I regret was there were two teachers in the group that were escaping for a long weekend and I couldn’t party with them , I wasn’t alone that trip .
 
1978 Olney Airport, I had stopped in to visit my flight instructor. Coachmen Industries had a manufacturing plant next to the airport at that time and their Learjet landed while I was there. Pilot and Co-Pilot came in and we visited for a while and they were curious about working traffic radar and I wound up taking them for about a 20 minute ride to demonstrate. When we got back to the airport the pilot said they had a little time to kill and asked if I wanted to go to lunch. Sure, thinking we would run into Olney. Nope, we loaded up in the Learjet, flew into Sheppard Air force base, they bought my lunch and we flew back.
 
1 time I was flying on my company plane (Fed Ex) & we were struck by lightning. Plane went down & I was the only survivor on a deserted Pacific Island. I spent the next few years talking to a volleyball, cracking cocnuts with ice skates, & wondering what was in a box I didn’t open (for some strange reason). When I was finally rescued years later, by fashioning a raft, & picked up by a passing freighter, I made my way home only to discover that my wife (Helen Hunt) had already married another man.
 
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maximus_flavius said:
1 time I was flying on my company plane (Fed Ex) & we were struck by lightning. Plane went down & I was the only survivor on a deserted Pacific Island. I spent the next few years talking to a volleyball, cracking cocnuts with ice skates, & wondering what was in a box I didn’t open (for some strange reason). When I was finally rescued years later, by fashioning a raft, & picked up by a passing freighter, I made my way home only to discover that my wife (Helen Hunt) had already married another man.
Click to expand...

I was thinking that would make a great movie, but then realized it would be too boring to watch [emoji23]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
I wish I had a proper keyboard to tell the story of a ninja clad young man attempting to board a plane in Manila. Completely wrapped in black, face covered and a pair of those wooden swords crossed over his back. Yeah...
 
maximus_flavius said:
1 time I was flying on my company plane (Fed Ex) & we were struck by lightning. Plane went down & I was the only survivor on a deserted Pacific Island. I spent the next few years talking to a volleyball, cracking cocnuts with ice skates, & wondering what was in a box I didn’t open (for some strange reason). When I was finally rescued years later, by fashioning a raft, & picked up by a passing freighter, I made my way home only to discover that my wife (Helen Hunt) had already married another man.
Click to expand...
Only to find out there was a working Sat phone in one of those packages. Oh, that's right, this was back in the year 2000. No satellite phones then. Glad you made it.
 
Beijing to Vancouver (YVR) flight a more than a decade ago. Entitled Chinese mommy and her 5 year old brat seated behind me in business class. Kid started kicking my seat the moment they were seated, continued through being asked at least 3 times by flight attendants to stop- mom did nothing and actually argued with the flight attendants. Finally stopped after dinner service, we all go to sleep, are like an hour in (maybe 10h left in the flight) and kid decides to throw a tantrum because he wasn't ready to sleep. Kicking, screaming, hitting mom, hitting the bulkhead wall behind him, kicking my seat, unbuckles his seat belt and is running up and down the aisles hitting people. A flight attendant goes to mom and says "You need to get him under control NOW." Mom gets up from her seat, kid runs the other direction. Flight attendant blocks him- he runs up to her, tries to push past her, and then bites her on the forearm when she won't let him past- hard enough to draw blood, according to one of the other FAs. One of the pilots comes back, and the kid looks terrified of the uniformed man, runs back to his seat, and buckles his seat belt, cowering. Mom goes back to her seat, the pilot tells her if there are more problems there they will have to divert, and she will be fined. She turns like ashen white, says something to the kid, who goes completely quiet and didn't say another word the entire flight. When we landed, there were airport police waiting for them, and the mother looked like she'd just been punched when she saw them. No idea of the resolution.

As far as I could tell, they were both abused by the kid's father, who was likely an officer in the military- when the kid saw the pilot's uniform, he anticipated a beating, and so he straightened up. When Mom was told she could be liable for a fine, she straightened up, because the fine would be paid by her abusive husband, who would the abuse her more for it. Kinda sad, but explains everything, to me at least.
 
These stories are why I've only flown once in about the last 18 years.
 
Forrest Gump worked for Fed Ex after he flew on Appollo 13 and retired from NASSA. Helen made a big mistake when she gave up on Forrest. She should have known he would return. He forgave her and sent her a medium box of Wilson Sampler Chocolates that helped her accept life's mystery's of never knowing what you will get.
 
Before I retired, I worked for a major oil company in Denver. We had private airplanes that flew to various fields located along the western slope of the rockies. One flight, the company security folks showed up before departure with a "drug dog" in tow. The security guy said; "this german shepard is trained to attack any person holding drugs or drug paraphernalia, and he is vicious! It would be awful if you were holding, and best if you would admit it now!" The drill rep in the back of the pack of six of us, raised his hand; "ahhh ... my wife made me these brownies." He was escorted away, never to be seen again. I am pretty sure the dog was a regular mutt they probably just rescued from the pound. :)
 
By the way, I believe every flight should be equipped with at least one roll of duct tape AND flight attendants trained in its application.
 
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Ok, so think back to the early 2000’s. TSA was fresh and in full protection mode. I go to North Carolina with a coworker for a week long crime scene class put on by a company that sells any and every csi product you can afford. They are giving away goodies for almost any participation. Gloves, finger print kits, alternate light sources, you name it. So Friday morning we check out of the hotel and my partner tells me she can’t fit all her freebies in her bags and do I have room. Now I’m the guy who travels light and puts everything in a suitcase and does not carry on luggage. So the answer is “no”. She pouts and insists that we stop and buy her a second carry on bag. Little did I know you could only have one carry on and it was a set up. Sooo, get to the airport early and have a few beers and she hits me with the “I can only carry on one and your gonna have to help” *** story. I’m less than happy but what am I gonna do. “Fine, I’ll carry your flowery bag. What’s in it?” Just her freebies no feminine stuff so I agree.

Now remember the timeline as we go through security and get separated in two lines. The very nice female TSA agent looks at my pretty colored flowery carry on, opens said carry on and pulls out about a four oz. jar of fingerprint powder. “What’s this?” She asks. Now I’ve been LE for a long time, been a week in csi class, got ambushed by my partner, and had a few beers. So my answer, “it’s just black powder”. (Cop talk for fingerprint powder) Which got a lot of attention real quick from a lot more than the friendly TSA agent. So as the pending strip search and interrogation runs through my head I do the most honorable thing I can think of and point across to the other line and say “she’s with me!”

Fortunately for us, the very nice TSA agent happened to be going through peace officer school and knew what finger print powder is and after a short visit allowed us to board with our clothes and dignity.

Now the other passengers watching us like hawks for the whole flight is a story for another time.
 
South Tex said:
“What’s this?” She asks. Now I’ve been LE for a long time, been a week in csi class, got ambushed by my partner, and had a few beers. So my answer, “it’s just black powder”....
Click to expand...

Oh, we're gonna tell THOSE kind of airport stories? In 1976, I was in the Army & on my way to Germany. I flew through Michigan and visited a girlfriend - who happened to be a member of the Michigan State U dairy club. Anyhoo, presently I've flown into Rhein Main AFB in Frankfurt. In military customs, a bored looking MP tells me to open my suitcase. I pop it open, and there's something the size of a brick wrapped in tin foil. So here's how it plays out:
MP: "What's that?"
Me: "Uh, I never saw it before."
MP: "Sergeant of the guard!!!!!"
MP Sgt: "What's wrapped up in that tin foil, Specialist?"
Me: "Honest, never saw it. It's not mine." And I'm sweating bullets. I thought somebody had slipped a kilo of something very naughty into my bag - me, the drug & alcohol counselor whose career is about to be over.
Sgt: "Pick it up and open it."
Which I did. Sweating bullets, I peeled back the tin foil to find - ta da - a pound of caraway cheddar cheese. Going away present from my girl friend. Probably a good thing we didn't get married.
MP Sgt: "Just get out of my airport!!!!"
Trust me, I ran for the exit.
 
My dad had a plane and I loved to go up with him. Private aviation is the only thing that is cooler than riding a motorcycle IMHO. My brother, however, was always terrified when my dad took him flying. One trip with my brother, my dad had just got up to cruising altitude when he noticed how uncomfortable my brother appeared to be. In trying to comfort him a bit, my dad said "Hey Paul, look out your window down there and you will see a small airport." Paul says, "Yeah and I've got to pee!!" 🤣
 
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