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mom approaching end

Lucydad

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Joined
Mar 18, 2013
Messages
656
Location
Sugar Land, TX
All,

My 96 year old mother living in Durango, CO is approaching her end. She has been in assisted living over 4 years, and latest medical exam was pretty grim. We are having an exam next week to qualify her for hospice in place. I manage her affairs from a distance here in Sugar Land. Anyway, prayers please for my mom--she is a brave one, but her body and mind are giving up. She also is nearly blind and deaf, and down to 85 pounds, and can barely walk with assistance.

I am trying to get the manager of the assisted living place to weigh in with her opinion, and also mom's primary care physician to do an exam. After that, if they both support hospice in place, I will approve that change. I am praying for their participation and communication.

Mom used to love to ride our Honda MT 50s at our cabin in San Juan county. She also let us have motorcycles, snowmobiles and never gave us the big fear message about them. So yeah....
 

Texas T

Moderator
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Joined
Nov 7, 2004
Messages
12,024
Location
Sun Lakes & Show Low, Arizona
First Name
Brian
Last Name
Thorn
I'm very sorry to hear that. My mother passed just over a week ago. She made the decision that it was time to go and the hospice nurse removed the oxygen. It was tough to endure, but she's out of her pain now. My thoughts are with you as you face this transition.
 

StromXTc

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Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
1,851
Location
George West
First Name
Brian
How do you say good bye to a loved one? We just know it is a part of life and accept it as it is. Its is still hard to take as we all know. Hang in there lucydad
 
Joined
Oct 14, 2011
Messages
5
Location
Lake Hartwell, SC (formerly Frisco, TX)
First Name
Lee
Last Name
O'Callaghan
Prayers said from several states away. Comfort for you, and for wisdom and caring from the involved professionals. I hope you are able to make it to Colorado and spend a little time with her while she is still here.
 
Joined
Sep 4, 2017
Messages
218
Location
Katy, Republic of Texas
Good luck with whatever choices are made. It can be a hard one, but the right one for hospice. Allow for some dignity for her and also the family.
Must be hard being so far away from her with all this.

Prayers for her and the family at this time.
 
Joined
Mar 17, 2009
Messages
986
Location
Weatherford
First Name
James
Last Name
McQuaid
Sorry to know your Mom's not doing well.

It's a hard decision but one we have to face and do what is best for our loved ones. Hope you and Mom have peace.

Prayers up.
 
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
2,333
Location
Bryan-sort of-Texas
Hospice are wonderful people who care not only for their patients but also for the families effected. Their services are far more encompassing than simply dealing with end of life comfort. Chances are, you have a Hospice organization near you. Look them up. Call them and arrange a time to visit with them. Go by and pickup some of their guides. One in particular seemed comforting to me - called "Gone From My Sight." They have many others and each one probably resonates differently with folks in different situations. They also facilitate group sessions for people in every stage of bereavement. This is what they do every day and they're very good at it. There is no cost to you for any of this. You do not have to hack through this alone.
 
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
1,098
Location
West Texas
I will second RG's thoughts. My father recently passed from a long illness. We used Hospice and he was able to pass in his own house, which was his final wish as far as that was concerned.

In a situation where a loved one is at the end-of-life scenario, Hospice is a wonderful thing.
 

Windmill

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Joined
Mar 5, 2015
Messages
2,394
Location
Thorndale TX
First Name
Clay
I will second RG's thoughts. My father recently passed from a long illness. We used Hospice and he was able to pass in his own house, which was his final wish as far as that was concerned.

In a situation where a loved one is at the end-of-life scenario, Hospice is a wonderful thing.
I totally agree, home gives peace. If this is possible, and it is not always because it requires a lot of family and friends helping. We did it for six months with my mother, it was hard on everyone and at the last had to use in-home care for 12-15 hours a day at two to three hundred dollars a day. Hospice just comes by weekly to administer pharmacy and help with things like hospital bed and gowns and such. They are sincerely so helpful.There are ways to get in-home care from Medicare or Medicaid, I believe Hospice is paid by Medicare and Medicaid.
The body going to rest is simple and just as natural as being born, but doing it on your own terms can be a battle, one that can be won.
I looked it up Hospice is a Medicare benefit we paid taxes for.
 
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my6

Joined
Jun 1, 2005
Messages
1,360
Location
Houston
First Name
David
Prayers for what you are going through. I miss both my parents everyday but I know they are together again and are without pain.
 
Joined
Jul 18, 2009
Messages
7,032
Location
T'orndale!
Hospice are wonderful people who care not only for their patients but also for the families effected. Their services are far more encompassing than simply dealing with end of life comfort. Chances are, you have a Hospice organization near you. Look them up. Call them and arrange a time to visit with them. Go by and pickup some of their guides. One in particular seemed comforting to me - called "Gone From My Sight." They have many others and each one probably resonates differently with folks in different situations. They also facilitate group sessions for people in every stage of bereavement. This is what they do every day and they're very good at it. There is no cost to you for any of this. You do not have to hack through this alone.
This is good advice...
Prayers for what you are going through. I miss both my parents everyday but I know they are together again and are without pain.
Prayers from our house, as well......
 

Centex

Forum Supporter
Joined
May 11, 2011
Messages
657
Location
Bastrop County
Hospice are wonderful people who care not only for their patients but also for the families effected. Their services are far more encompassing than simply dealing with end of life comfort. Chances are, you have a Hospice organization near you. Look them up. Call them and arrange a time to visit with them. Go by and pickup some of their guides. One in particular seemed comforting to me - called "Gone From My Sight." They have many others and each one probably resonates differently with folks in different situations. They also facilitate group sessions for people in every stage of bereavement. This is what they do every day and they're very good at it. There is no cost to you for any of this. You do not have to hack through this alone.
Yet another endorsement of Hospice Care from a family member here - it was a huge help in every respect (physical and emotional) for everyone when my father's end of life occurred, by his choice at home where he was most comfortable, and also for my Uncle at a care facility where he'd been for awhile.

No one must feel 'alone and unguided' through end of life - there are tremendously skilled and compassionate folks available to support all family members. Cost is a zero factor, it's free, getting that factor 'off the table' is only a small, but meaningful, part of the benefit.

Hoping strength and comfort for all of Lucydad's family through this difficult time, you have my love and empathy.
 
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