TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

[DrBlackbird]

TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Mississippi River Dual Sporting.....at it's Best
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Well,.... another Miss River Adventure ride is in the books........
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Tim "Bumper" Shaw,.....Put together another great Dual Sport 4 day weekend........What a great time we all had.......We had riders from Texas and our great sister State LA.......We all got home late Sunday with dirty bikes, sore muscles and smiles on our faces..........I'm dirty and tired and haven't had time to unload my camera of all it's pictures........If any of you other guys have some pics ready and want to post them, lets see them..
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I however, will for all those that didn't make the ride, post one picture of our Texas Size Breakfast"........Tim really put together a top notch ride for all the guys......This is a pic of what he had fixed for everyone for Breakfast on the first day.........
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DAY ONE.............We all arrived Wed evening, with the last arriving at 1AM....We made sure while backing up the Camper, to make a bit of noise and let the others know "The Party has Started".....Mr. "Calgari-Yogi" arrived Thur evening to join us, and the LA boys will hook up with us Sat morning for breakfast...........
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We all fall out of our Tents, Trucks, Trailers and Campers.....Shake the sleep off, say our hellos, grab some coffee and a bite to eat........Unload the bikes, tighten chains, load up our gear, snap on our GPS', fill our camel-backs and fire them up..........
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We head out of Natchez State Park for a Day loop, we plan to be back at the base camp that evening for Beverages, Fire, and Stories of the days ride......Will let the pictures do the talking
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We warm up our Racing Knobbies on some great asphalt for a little ways.....Then the we make it to the dirt, where the "Slippin-n-Sliding Fun" begins........For those reading this,....put your "Air Masks" on, it gets a bit dusty in sections
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The above pic is the same as this last years Pic.....Someone left the faucet turned on
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We make it to Miss' famous Church.....sign will tell all
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After some great dirt trails with some fun erosion berms that we jumped, we came to a locked gate.........backed tracked to a connecting road that directed us to the "Windsor Ruins"....(http://www.positivelymississippi.com/html/windsor_ruins.html) Took some pictures and a break under the old pecan trees.[/B]
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Our stomachs are starting to rumble.....So Tim, Joe and I say, "Boys, do we have a great "Country Greasy Spoon Spot" picked out for your dining pleasure.....
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Below is a picture, Rick "Trailace" took.....We heard him say " Man, I never been in a fancy restaurant that had pretty glass lights and real silverware before,.....can one of you guys show me which fork to use first"........
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Ya'll would've been proud of me....I behaved myself the entire first half of the first day.........Here's proof that I didn't start the "Games"........Come to find out later, that while I was in the restroom, our fearless leader made a mad dash out to my bike to tie a "Female Ornament" to my bike.......What really hurts me the most is that he had witness to his crime that didn't confide in me........There's "No Honor" amongst "Dual-Sport" back-stabbers......
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We top off our tanks and head away from the city lights....Back into the Miss outback............As the following pictures will clearly show, we had to slow the pace down in the turns. We had two beginner riders....(Rick n Rob), with us that just plain an simple didn't know how to negotiate curves.......We kept trying to tell them, it wasn't necessary to swing your outbound leg out for balance....You could really tell they were scared.....But being the patient bunch we were, we waited for them and told them "It was going to be alright"
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Part of the "Adventure" is, that you never know what you get when you make your route from Google, Map Source and County maps......You may get a continuous trail, or may "Not"........Tim's two lane gravel county road turned into a great single track....Loaded down with 400, 450, 650, and 690's, none of us had any trouble with the tight stuff...."That was our obligatory "Pat on the Back" for sailing through the rough stuff............"HOWEVER",......this great trail kept getting narrower n narrower....finally coming to an old forgotten rotten bridge.....We all kick ourselves for not getting any pictures of this sorry bridge sagging as each rider picked his way across........The trail finally ends in thick woods........
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It's getting late and we're still miles from base camp....we do a reroute on our GPS' and decide to head back............This is where I decide is a good time to make my move........While Tim is away from his bike, I find two good size, pointed rocks and slip them under his sheep skin seat cover, all the while expecting him to jump up as soon as he sits down........Well I guess after about 150 miles, he didn't feel it right off.........We head on out and trudge down the slab making time back to camp. About 30 miles pass and we come to a cross road and take a break. Ole' Tim gets off his bike real slow this time, saying "**** my Butt is killing me".........The ones that knew what I had done grinned and I said " What, that nice sheep skin isn't doing it's job, You might want to check out under it"......Well, I got two rocks thrown at me.................
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Day Two............Gate Day
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Another crisp cool sunrise greets us on day 2
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Our neighbors with their morning catch.......
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Day 2.........Starts out like any other ADV Day..........Then "Goes Down Hill" from there.......and that is No Pun on words............
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We are joined by Mr. "Fine Looking CRFX Honda 450", that is such a "Fickled Filly" that Graham couldn't get her to fire off for 45 mins.......With a swift kick in the seat and a shove down a hill, she came to life.......We load up and head on out for another day of Dirty Fun......
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The Gate..............
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We turn off the asphalt and are riding in a national forest area....The roads are gravel and well groomed, with trees overhanging the roads.......great ADV riding...........I take the lead for a bit, then peel off to catch some photo's of everyone blasting by.........Tim retakes the lead........1 mile down the track, he comes to a crest in the hill with a left turn..........Top of the hill, he looks 300yds down the road and sees a gate across the road........This is where speculation comes to play...........Tim has been so concerned that his route planning and map making work seamlessly for this ride.........We think Tim never saw the gate, He looked down to the GPS to see if he had made the correct left turn.........Here in lies the "Problem".........Going down hill, he was building speed ......He finds his bearing on the GPS,.......looks back up to the road, and there, 10ft in front of him is a 3in diameter, schedule 40 grade steel, National Forestry Locked Gate.............BOOM-BANG-CRUNCH-THUD............................Without so much as a skid mark in the gravel.....He nails the center of the Gate traveling at 40+ MPH.........Albie who was following 40 ft behind had started to slow and said to himself<"Tim isn't going to stop"........The force of the impact, ripped the gate from it's mooring point which was embedded in concrete on the right hand side,......Flung the gate across the road, and Bike and rider started their "Long" acrobatic tumbling 150 ft down the road.......To land semi-conscious in the ditch along the road.............
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We placed a bike at point of impact to give a perspective of how much the straight heavy gauge pipe was bent and where it contacted the DRZ........
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OUCH....................Checked him out as best you can in a field situation.....Suggested to get him to a Hospital.......45 mins pass before he gets to his feet.........He is still groggy and unsure on his feet.......Rick (Trailace) agrees to head back to camp and get the truck.........In the mean time, the rest of the riders have a meeting some distance from where Tim is laying.........We all agree on a plan of action.........We walk on over to Tim and tell him we've decided to take him out in the woods and put him out of his misery........Because when his wife found out about this....He was dead anyway...........
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Tim, the "Class-Act" he sometimes can be..........Demanded that we finish the ride..........Robert decided to stay with him while Rick got the truck......Rick n Rob said they'd make the ferry as soon as they got Tim comfy back at the Camper........Tim had some CD's a TV and a "Box" of cheap wine back at the camp....He was set.
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Tim hands the maps over and I take the point........I tell the guys as we get to the next stop........"Every time I look down at the GPS, I bolt my eyes back to the road a split second later.........We still can't believe what had just happened...........
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We make it to Woodville for a midday snack and fuel.......We find out that the St. Francis Ville Ferry stops running at 5:30. So we had to eliminate the afternoons dirt route and make a dash for the boat...........
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Tim swears he didn't plan it to be so bad....But this is where Tim gets back at me for the "Rocks in the Seat" gag...........Tim planned for all of us to camp Friday night in New Roads, LA.......meet up with the LA guys for a Sat ride back to Natchez.........He says he looked high n Low for a site to camp..........He contacted a camp ground that catered to Trailers and motor homes. The lady said "Sure, we have room for you. We have a grassy area next to the Bars parking lot......Red Flags should have gone up when I heard that.........
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We finally work our way through a run down trailer park to the Marina / Travel Trailer / Coonass Bar / Camp Ground..........Charlie who missed the "Bump-Gate" scene in the forest had already set up his tent and was having a beer with the colorful locals........I was there to just check out this questionable site........Joe had already offered to share his double room. When I saw Charlie already set up, I just couldn't let him stay there alone....So Kenny Rogers and I decided to make a go of it........"MISTAKE"
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The entire trailer park was full of Wisconsin construction workers working on a pipeline in LA........and "Yep", it was payday and a Friday night........They had a going away party under the pavilion 30ft behind our tents and across the shell parking lot was a Coonass Poolhall / Bar........................Here's how the night went
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• 11:30... going away party going strong......Tapers off around12:45
• 1:00...Drunk Harley owner decides to rev his bike three good loud revs
• 1:20....Fisherman launches his big motor'd boat to do some night fishing
• 2:00....Bar finally closes and the loud music is shut off
• 2:30....Bar owner and bartenders lock up and shout their, " See ya tomorrow Boudreaux"
• 2:50...Two trucks pull up to a trailer (Drug Buy)....Loud talking and door slamming.......Peel out across shell parking lot
• 4:00...Local sheriff makes rounds across shell parking lot, stops for about 5mins with police radio squawking out the cruiser window
• 5:15....The nightly Lionel Train blasts it's way through town
• 5:25....I had enough,........ got up and went to take a second shower....sat in a cold metal chair under the pavilion and watched the sun come up.....
  Come to find out the next morning,....."That's where the motor-home people use to walk their pets.............Thanks, Tim

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This is where the "Pink Victoria Secret" wearing rest of our group decided to stay.........A hotel that even had a private court-yard for their rides.....I hope ya'll slept well, you Dawgs..........
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Good Night...............Day 3 starts tomorrow
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Day 3........................A rough start this morning for the three "Adventure Seekers" that spent the night of the living dead at the "Coonass Camp Ground from Hellll".........
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We pack up and head on over to the "Powder Puff" Hotel to round up the rest of the crew........We pull up and the very first thing we see,.....could very well be "Worse" than our stay in the campsite ..........This is just not right.....And all the while, I thought the Miss. back woods, country boys were checking out Grahams' Honda,....I may have been wrong.........He tells us, "I'm expressing my Inner Beauty this morning"............
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We head back towards the Miss River to hook up with the LA boys.....Before we meet the LA crew, we make Graham take off his "Old Russian Womans' costume",.....We can't have the LA boys thinking that Texans dress like that, or that we let foreigners in our great State....It's bad enough that he's from that little Island across the pond................
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We have breakfast at "Lucky Pierres"....a Casino/Restaurant.......Discuss what new trails they have for us to ride today,........... load up and head out......
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As you will remember, we crossed the mighty Miss to the LA side last night....We now need to cross back over to get to the riding in Miss.....A short ferry ride, and about a mile off the ferry, we hang a left and hop on a great river hugging road lined with beautiful pink Azaleas.........
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The asphalt ends once again and we turn onto "Old Tunica Road".....One of the bestus roads around......This dirt road is carved into the hills.....Not one straight stretch more that 1 city block in length.....We feel as if we are riding "In" the road, not on it....all the while expecting to see some locals standing above us, plucking a banjo....Or waving at Graham........
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This twisting road turns into a sandy, dusty road that huggs the big river.....We spread out and grab one last gulp of clean air, then dump the clutch........It gets so dusty, "They Tell Me",...... I'm on point..., that you can't see what your front tire's rolling over......There are pot-holes, possums, and alligators the guys are bouncing through........But don't let them tell you they didn't enjoy every minute of it..........A couple of miles into this "Miss Baja 100", we come across a bunch of Bubba's, Boudreaux's and Bodines on 4-Wheelers.....We take a break and swap lies for a bit.........
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Orange Crush....................If Ya'll have paid attention, Ya'll would have noticed a bunch of "Funny Looking Orange" bikes amongst the other "Beautiful Shiny" rides..........As we all know, they are called "KTM's".........They come with a price tag and a rider with "EGO".......for the past three days, all we heard was, "I got me a KTM and you can't touch me"..............Confucius say....." Those that Brag, Will soon be Walking".........
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Day is coming to a close and we have "Seafood Gumbo" on the brain....We are heading back to the camp to freshen up and head on over to the Isle of Capri for a Huge Seafood Buffet........Look into R-Mirror and see most of the crew off to the side of the road.....Hang a U and pull up to find a "Buttt Ugly" orange bike with the tank off.................
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Didn't want to smile too much....so I put on my "Concerned" look........Come to find out, Joe's KTM450 rattled loose it's clip on the main needle......The needle was sitting in the Main Jet relaxing and causing us to be late for dinner.........After everyone put in their two cents worth of advice....The Young LA rider, (forget his name,..sorry)....who was a cycle mechanic found and fixed the problem............Off We Went
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Now here below, is a "Pretty Bike".............It's known as "The John Deere" of Motorcycles...........And you don't need to be wearing "Orange Underwear" to ride it...............
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As the "Last Rider" fades off into the Shadows.........This Great Ride has come to an End..........
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[thumper]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Ha! Ha! What a clever title!

 

[Trailace]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

I can see where this is going.

I Think!

 

[thumper]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

I Think!

Yeah, I think I hurt Dr. B's feelings with the prank so he's gonna go right for the juggler on this one...told you I'm a patient man Gary.LOL! Actually ya took it like a true sportsman, and btw...there's nothing wrong with my petcock. Ya just gotta know how to work it!! LOL!! Thanks for all your help old man....now get on with the report. Starting with day one would be a good thing!!LOL!!

 

[The Bruce]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

 

[flcbrxx]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Well, I had a great time as usual. Thanks again Tim for all the effort that went into putting this together.

Got home and unloaded everything out of the trailer and put into the house again. Even though I was tired as ****, I just couldn't just let the bike sit there all dirty and abused too long. So off to the car wash to clean her up some...it is now ready for the next ride.

Then I went into the house and sit on the couch and then it was over for the night.

I haven't even got to look at my camera at what little pics I took.

Once again, It was great riding with everyone and I'm glad that I got to make this ride because I didn't think I was going to get to be there. But the Thursday's ride was well worth the 11 hr drive to get there. Wish there were more roads like that around here.

 

[Calgary-Yogi]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Thanks to Tim for all the work of putting this together, It was great riding, a great time with great folks.

I only have one picture from the ferry, the rest of the time I was too busy trying to keep up with you folks.

Have already put the 606s on the CRF so hopefully she is a little fast out of the gate next time.

THANKS AGAIN TIM !!

 

[Hood Ornament]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Good times for sure! I had a blast both on the dirt as well as teh pavement. Dang that 690 works great! Can't wait to do it again. Glad that you survived your gate crashing Tim.

 

[Rydah]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Another excellent ride!! Thanks for putting this together, Tim, and I hope you are feeling okay; had me worried there for awhile. That was some of the most scenic roads that I've been on for a long time, and it made for some great riding too.

 

[thumper]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Yeah, I really like riding over there. The culture shock is a kick too. Nothing like touring backwoods Mississippi! Talk about some broke down stuff! Glad everyone enjoyed it as much as I did. Gary said he'd get started with day one this evening, so if anyones got any pics of Thursday that you didn't give to Gary, post'em up I'd sure like to see'em.

Also if someone has the entire tracks ridden on the overnight part, I'd like to get'em so I can touch up the route.

As far as myself....still very very sore, but I'm walking which seems to help. Each day is better than the one before, so that's good. Did I say that crap really hurt!

 

[Trailace]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Yeah, I really like riding over there. The culture shock is a kick too. Nothing like touring backwoods Mississippi! Talk about some broke down stuff! Glad everyone enjoyed it as much as I did. Gary said he'd get started with day one this evening, so if anyones got any pics of Thursday that you didn't give to Gary, post'em up I'd sure like to see'em.

Also if someone has the entire tracks ridden on the overnight part, I'd like to get'em so I can touch up the route.

As far as myself....still very very sore, but I'm walking which seems to help. Each day is better than the one before, so that's good. Did I say that crap really hurt!

Tim,

Here are the tracks for all 3 days. Thanks again for putting this together.

 

[KTMandu]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Tim
For those of us that didn't make the event, would you please elaborate on just what misfortune left you in your current sorry state?
Pics would be necessary to garner my sympathy.

 

[DrBlackbird]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Tim
For those of us that didn't make the event, would you please elaborate on just what misfortune left you in your current sorry state?

Everything will be revealed in this evenings posting

 

[Dirty1]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Guys- I had an awesome time riding and hanging out with everyone.

Great ride, great company, between the lot of us we collected enough dust to plant a square foot garden.

Dirty

 

[thumper]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Tim would you please elaborate on just what misfortune left you in your current sorry state?

Well Paul, it was all your fault! If you would've come on this ride with me, it would have altered the chain of events just enough to let me escape my little gate testing!! Yup!! See what ya went and did now!


























Btw, I hope you had a great weekend with your family. Pick a date, and I'll head that way!

Everything will be revealed in this evenings posting

Great job Doc!Enjoyed what you have so far. Ya know my Garmin was unscathed and tracked right on through. "Right on through" ...ha,ha, I really didn't type that intentionally. Maybe I'm going through some post-crash obsession syndrome.

So here's what my 60cs recorded.

If you look at the track log, it certainly tells the story...44mph, 4mph, then 0.

Anyways, I'll let Doc explain how this happened and there's a whole bunch more that the gang "experienced" after this little mishap.

 

[thumper]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Tim, Pics would be necessary to garner my sympathy.

Whoa...hold up a second! Sometimes I just read right through stuff. Now I see it....so your telling me that if we don't post pics of the crash, that any sympathy from you is basically unobtainable. And here I thought you were a fine upstanding coonass!

Guess I'll have to move a return trip up near the top of my priorities. That way I can explain to you in person...what you can do with your sympathy. We'll see if we can work this out on a trail somewhere Paul!

 

[Calgary-Yogi]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

that any sympathy from you is basically unobtainable.

Tim, I thought I expalined it to you on Sunday. If you wanted sympathy you would have to look it up in the dictionary. Its located between sh** (mods that is SHOE) and Syphilis

Hope your healing fast

 

[KTMandu]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Tim
I fail to see how my being there would have altered your date with the gate. I know you were the leader of the pack. My poor sensitive ego is still trying to recover from the verbal abuse and wrath of God I incurred when I made the innocent, newbie mistake of passing you in Ville Platte on the inaugural Natchez ride last June.
So, if I had been there, I certainly wouldn't have been so foolish as to try to get in front of you again. It was your fate to mate with the gate.
OK, I'll stop.

As for my sympathy, I know Gary spins a good tale. If he tells the story using every juicy, painful and humiliating adjective known to man, my sympathy is yours. Pics would still be a big plus.
I know you are hurting but I want to know what happened to the fence??
And is there going to be a round three??

Wish I coulda gone.

 

[EnduroRdr]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Doc, Great ride report! More pics if you guys got em!

Tim Hope you don't look as bad as the zook, that must have really smarted! Are you sure someone doesn't have a coonass voodoo doll of you?
First the camper caper, then the gate date, this is not a good spring so far

 

[thumper]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Tim, I thought I expalined it... sympathy in the dictionary is located between sh** (mods that is SHOE) and Syphilis

Yeah, I remember now Yogi!! Brenda already gave me my fair share of "SHOE", but I've yet to see any sympathy.

Tim
I fail to see how my being there would have altered your date with the gate.

Too late Paul! This one's going in the books as "Your Fault".
Round Three...lets say before mid-June. There's some issues that need to be settled with the routes.....ya know all I need is an excuse to load up and head that way.

Btw, check the first post.

 

[thumper]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Are you sure someone doesn't have a coonass voodoo doll of you?
First the camper caper, then the gate date, this is not a good spring so far

Dang Mike!!! I wonder if Paul has something to do with the camper too!!

Hmm...coonass voodoo dolls? That sounds like him for sure!

 

[Greasemonkey]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Dang Tim,sorry about the gate test.Hope your ok.

Sounds like you guys had fun.

Just a heads up,never-ever camp near a La. bar.
Did you notice any small rainstorms during the night

 

[KTMandu]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

DAAAAMMMMNNNN Tim
I know it wasn't funny at the time and I'm glad you are doing well(nothing broken but the bike, right?) but that story and the pics are just like the commercial...priceless. That is one for the ages. I'm glad nobody can see me because I'm LMAO Sir, you do indeed have my sympathy and admiration. I can't say that I know anybody else that has taken on an iron pipe gate and won. I wonder what the Forest Service people think happened to their gate. I'm sure y'all left a note of explanation.
Gary, you absolutely nailed the tale of the gate.
And your "Night at the Bar" was excellent as well.

 

[thumper]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

Just a heads up,never-ever camp near a La. bar.
Did you notice any small rainstorms during the night

That was one of my biggest concerns when I talked to the woman over the phone about our "tent area". I'd called her four different times during prep, and she kept forgetting we were coming. Honestly, I pretty sure she was smashed everytime I talked to her. The good thing is I got to burn Gary one more time without even trying!!LOL!

Hey Paul, As Rick [Trailace] and I were leaving the scene with my bike in the back, we both thought "We need to get the **** out of here before a ranger shows up!"

 

[DrBlackbird]

Re: TUNICA HILLS, Miss.....These Hills don't have "Eyes"...They have "Gates"

The good thing is I got to burn Gary one more time without even trying!!LOL!

I wasn't amused then......and I'm not amused Now!